It is the fear of loss that is the foundation of jealousy. Many partners that struggle with jealousy, fear the loss of their relationship, the loss of self-respect, even loss of respect of their friends and family as they how they would be seen as a ‘fool. Being overly fearful fosters feelings of insecurity.
Sometimes jealousy is driven by an individual’s low self-esteem. They may wonder, “Why do they really love me? I don’t get how somebody like them could be attracted to somebody like me!” It’s one of the mysteries of love that we are not supposed to understand precisely why another person loves us.
It’s important to understand that not all jealousy is driven by low self-esteem. Other factors may stand alone or contribute to feelings of jealousy. There are people with very good self-esteem that can have intense feelings of jealousy if they feel that they (themselves) must always be the center of things. People like this tend to look at other people as material property and perhaps a resource for their personal use. It may be at a subconscious level that they just don’t want to share that ‘property’. They may not even want their partner to innocently smile or socialize with another person. It could be that this type of jealousy occurs from being spoiled as a child.
The experience of jealousy is unbearably uncomfortable. Sometimes jealous people try to make themselves feel better by attempting to make their partner jealous. That’s a bad idea. Making eyes with other men or women constantly in front of your partner; making a point of saying how attractive, fun, and witty someone at work is; and making it obvious that you are purposely bringing up past lovers just demeans you. None of those reactions will make you feel better and will actually make things worse.
It is the destructive use of the imagination that drives jealousy. Having a good imagination is a wonderful gift … if you use it properly and for your own benefit; not if it screws up your mind. Stephen King has made a career out of making up scary stories and writing books. But he is removed from the weird ideas that he creates in his head. He doesn’t believe all the things that he writes about just because he imagined it. You can imagine an alien space invasion headed right towards Earth at this moment. Right now, you can vividly ‘see’ those scary-looking aliens about to land the mother ship at your local park. But you don’t really believe it. Yet the imagination of the jealous person becomes fact – in their mind.
Watch the video below by relationship expert and hypnotist, Mark Tyrrell, for more insights into overcoming jealousy. It is the first in a free, three part series that you will find instructive and enjoyable. You will learn how to overcome jealousy in three easy steps. Or you can take a few minutes now to review review a special self-hypnosis session, “Overcome Jealousy with Hypnosis“.