16 Your Subconscious Mind and Harmonious Human Relations
In studying this series, you learn that your subconscious mind is a recording machine,
which faithfully reproduces whatever you impress upon it. This is one of the reasons for
the application of the Golden Rule in human relations. MATT. 7:12 says, All things
whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, do ye even so to them. This quotation
has outer and inner meanings. You are interested in its inner meaning from the standpoint
of your subconscious mind, which is: As you would that men should think about you,
think you about them in like manner. As you would that men should feel about you, feel
you also about them in like manner. As you would want men to act toward you, act you
toward them in like manner.
For example, you may be polite and courteous to someone in your office, but when his
back is turned, you are very critical and resentful toward him in your mind. Such negative
thoughts are highly destructive to you. It is like taking poison. You are actually taking
mental poisons, which rob you of vitality, enthusiasm, strength, guidance, and good will.
These negative thoughts and emotions sink down into your subconscious, and cause all
kinds of difficulties and maladies in your life.
The master key to happy relationships with others
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged:
and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. MATTHEW 7:12.
A study of these verses and the application of the inner truths therein contained represent
the real key to harmonious relations. To judge is to think, to arrive at a mental verdict or
conclusion in your mind. The thought you have about the other person is your thought,
because you are thinking it.
Your thoughts are creative, therefore, you actually create in your own experience what
you think and feel about the other person. It is also true that the suggestion you give to
another, you give to yourself because your mind is the creative medium.
This is why it is said, For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged. When you
know this law and the way your subconscious mind works, you are careful to think, feel,
and act rights toward the other. These verses teach you about the emancipation of man
and reveal to you the solution to your individual problems.
And with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again (Human Relations)
The good you do for others comes back to you in like measure; and the evil you do
returns to you by the law of your own mind. If a man cheats and deceives another, he is
actually cheating and deceiving himself. His sense of guilt and mood of loss inevitably
will attract loss to him in some way, at some time. His subconscious records his mental
act and reacts according to the mental intention or motivation.
Your subconscious mind is impersonal and unchanging, neither considering persons nor
respecting religious affiliations or institutions of any kind. It is neither compassionate nor
vindictive. The way you think, feel, and act toward others returns at last upon yourself.
The daily headlines made him sick – (Human Relations)
Begin now to observe yourself. Observe your reactions to people, conditions, and
circumstances. How do you respond to the events and news of the day? It makes no
difference if all the other people were wrong and you alone were right. If the news
disturbs you, it is your evil because your negative emotions robbed you of peace and harmony.
A woman wrote me about her husband, saying that he goes into a rage when he reads
what certain newspaper columnists write in the newspaper. She added that this constant
reaction of anger and suppressed rage on his part brought on bleeding ulcers, and his
physician recommended an emotional reconditioning.
I invited this man to see me and I explained to him the way his mind functions indicating
how emotionally immature it was to get angry when others write articles with which he
disapproves or disagrees. He began to realize that he should give the newspaperman
freedom to express himself even though the latter disagreed with him politically,
religiously, or in any other way. In the same manner, the newspaperman would give him
freedom to write a letter to the newspaper disagreeing with his published statements. He
learned that he could disagree without being disagreeable. He awakened to the simple
truth that it is never what a person says or does that affects him, it is his reaction to what
is said or done that matters.
This explanation was the cure for this man, and he realized that with a little practice he
could master his morning tantrums. His wife told me, subsequently, that he laughed at
himself and also at what the columnists say. They no longer have power to disturb,
annoy, and irritate him. His ulcers have disappeared due to his emotional poise and
I hate women, but I like men (Human Relations)
A private secretary was very bitter toward some of the girls in her office because they
were gossiping about her, and as she said, spreading vicious lies about her. She admitted
that she did not like women. She said, “I hate women, but I like men.” I discovered also
that she spoke to the girls who were under her in the office in a very haughty, imperious,
and irritable tone of voice. She pointed out that they took a delight in making things
difficult for her. There was a certain pomposity in her way of speaking, and I could see
where her tone of voice would affect some people unpleasantly.
If all the people in the office or factory annoy you, isn’t it a possibility that the vibration,
annoyance, and turmoil may be due to some subconscious pattern or mental projection
from you? We know that a dog will react ferociously if you hate or fear dogs. Animals
pick up your subconscious vibrations and react accordingly. Many undisciplined human
beings are just as sensitive as dogs, cats, and other animals.
I suggested a process of prayer to this private secretary who hated women, explaining to
her that when she began to identify herself with spiritual values and commenced to affirm
the truths of life, her voice, mannerisms, and hatred of women would completely
disappear. She was surprised to know that the emotion of hatred shows up in a person’s
speech, actions, in his writings, and in all phases of his life. She ceased reacting in
the typical, resentful, and angry way. She established a pattern of prayer, which she
practiced regularly, systematically, and conscientiously in the office.
The prayer was as follows: “I think, speak, and act lovingly, quietly, and peacefully. I
now radiate love, peace, tolerance, and kindliness to all the girls who criticized me and
gossiped about me. I anchor my thoughts on peace, harmony, and good will to all.
Whenever I am about to react negatively, I say firmly to myself, ‘I am going to think,
speak, and act from the standpoint of the principle of harmony, health, and peace
within myself.’Creative intelligence leads, rules, and guides me in all my ways.”
The practice of this prayer transformed her life, and she found that all criticism
and annoyance ceased.
The girls became coworkers and friends along life’s journey. She discovered that there is
no one to change but myself.
His inner speech held back his promotion (Human Relations)
One day a salesman came to see me and described his difficulties in working with the
sales manager of his organization. He had been with the company ten years and had
received no promotion or recognition of any kind. He showed me his sales figures,
which were greater proportionately than the other men in the territory. He said that the
sales manager did not like him, that he was unjustly treated, and hat at conferences the
manager was rude to him, and at times ridiculed his suggestions.
I explained that undoubtedly the cause was to a great degree within himself, and that his
concept and belief about his superior bore witness to the reaction of this man. The
measure we mete, shall be measured to us again. His mental measure or concept of the
sales manager was that he was mean and cantankerous. He was filled with bitterness and
hostility toward the executive. On his way to work he conducted a vigorous conversation
with himself filled with criticism, mental arguments, recriminations, and denunciations of
his sales manager.
What he gave out mentally, he was inevitably bound to get back. This salesman realized
that his inner speech was highly destructive because the intensity and force of his silent
thoughts and emotions, and personally conducted mental condemnation and vilification
of the sales manager entered into his own subconscious mind. This brought about the
negative response from his boss as well as creating many other personal, physical,
and emotional disorders.
He began to pray frequently as follows: “I am the only thinker in my universe. I am
responsible for what I think about my boss. My sales manager is not responsible for the
way I think about him. I refuse to give power to any person, place, or thing to annoy me
or disturb me. I wish health, success, peace of mind, and happiness for my boss. I
sincerely wish him well, and I know he is divinely guided in all his ways.”
He repeated this prayer out loud slowly, quietly, and feelingly, knowing that his mind is
like a garden, and that whatever he plants in the garden will come forth like seeds after
their kind. I also taught him to practice mental imagery prior to sleep in this way: He
imagined that his sales manager was congratulating him on his fine work, on his zeal and
enthusiasm, and on his wonderful response from customers. He felt the reality of all this,
felt his handshake, heard the tone of his voice, and saw him smile. He made a real mental
movie, dramatizing it to the best of his ability. Night after night he conducted this mental
movie, knowing that his subconscious mind was the receptive plate on which his
conscious imagery would be impressed.
Gradually by a process of what may be termed mental and spiritual osmosis, the
impression was made on his subconscious mind, and the expression automatically came
forth. The sales manager subsequently called him up to San Francisco, congratulated him,
and gave him a new assignment as Division Sales Manager over one hundred men with a big
increase in salary. He changed his concept and estimate of his boss, and
the latter responded accordingly.
Becoming emotionally mature
What the other person says or does cannot really annoy or irritate you except you permit
him to disturb you. The only way he can annoy you is through your own thought. For
example, if you get angry, you have to go through four stages in your mind: You begin to
think about what he said. You decide to get angry and generate an emotion of rage. Then,
you decide to act. Perhaps, you talk back and react in kind. You see that the thought,
emotion, reaction, and action all take place in your mind.
When you become emotionally mature, you do not respond negatively to the criticism
and resentment of others. To do so would mean that you had descended to that state of
low mental vibration and become one with the negative atmosphere of the other. Identify
yourself with your aim in life, and do not permit any person, place, or thing to deflect you
from your inner sense of peace, tranquility, and radiant health.
The meaning of love in harmonious human relations
Sigmund Freud, the Austrian founder of psychoanalysis, said that unless the personality
has love, it sickens and dies. Love includes understanding, good will, and respect for the
divinity in the other person. The more love and good will you emanate and exude, the
more comes back to you. If you puncture the other fellow’s ego and wound his estimate
of himself, you cannot gain his good will. Recognize that every man wants to be loved
and appreciated, and made to feel important in the world. Realize that the other man is
conscious of his true worth, and that, like yourself, he feels the dignity of being an
expression of the One Life Principle animating all men. As you do this consciously and
knowingly, you build the other person up, and he returns your love and good will.
He hated audiences (Human Relations)
An actor told me that the audience booed and hissed him on his first appearance on the
stage. He added that the play was badly written and that undoubtedly he did not play a
good role. He admitted openly to me that for months afterward he hated audiences. He
called them dopes, dummies, stupid, ignorant, gullible, etc. He quit the stage in disgust
and went to work in a drugstore for a year.
One day a friend invited him to hear a lecture in Town Hall, New York City, on “How to
Get Along With Ourselves.” This lecture changed his life. He went back to the stage and
began to pray sincerely for the audience and himself. He poured out love and good will
every night before appearing on the stage. He made it a habit to claim that the peace of
God filled the hearts of all present, and that all present were lifted up and inspired.
During each performance he sent out love vibrations to the audience. Today, he is a great
actor, and he loves and respects people. His good will and esteem are transmitted to
others and are felt by them.
Handling difficult people
There are difficult people in the world who are twisted and distorted mentally.
They are mal-conditioned. Many are mental delinquents, argumentative,
uncooperative, cantankerous, cynical, and sour on life. They are sick psychologically.
Many people have deformed and distorted minds, probably warped during childhood.
Many have congenital deformities. You would not condemn a person who had tuberculosis,
nor should you condemn a person who is mentally ill. No one, for example, hates or resents
a hunchback; there are many mental hunchbacks. You should have compassion and
understanding. To understand all is to forgive all.
Misery loves company
The hateful, frustrated, distorted, and twisted personality is out of tune with the Infinite.
He resents those who are peaceful, happy, and joyous. Usually he criticizes, condemns,
and vilifies those who have been very good and kind to him. His attitude is this: Why
should they be so happy when he is so miserable? He wants to drag them down to his
own level. Misery loves company. When you understand this you remain unmoved, calm,
The practice of empathy in human relations
A girl visited me recently stating that she hated another girl in her office. She gave as her
reason that the other girl was prettier, happier, and wealthier than she, and, in addition,
was engaged to the boss of the company where they worked. One day after the marriage
had taken place, the crippled daughter (by a former marriage) of the woman whom she
hated came into the office. The child put her arms around her mother and said, “Mommy,
mommy, I love my new daddy! Look what he gave me!” She showed her mother a
wonderful new toy. She said to me, “My heart went out to that little girl, and I knew how
happy she must feel. I got a vision of how happy this woman was. All of a sudden I felt
love for her, and I went into the office and wished her all the happiness in the world, and
I meant it.”
In psychological circles today, this is called empathy, which simply means the
imaginative projection of your mental attitude into that of another. She projected her
mental mood or the feeling of her heart into that of the other woman, and began to think
and look out through the other woman’s brain. She was actually thinking and feeling as
the other woman, and also as the child, because she likewise had projected herself into
the mind of the child. She was looking out from that vantage point on the child’s
If tempted to injure or think ill of another, project yourself mentally into the mind of
Moses and think from the standpoint of the Ten Commandments. If you are prone to be
envious, jealous, or angry, project yourself into the mind of Jesus and think from that
standpoint, and you will feel the truth of the words Love ye one another.
Appeasement never wins
Do not permit people to take advantage of you and gain their point by temper tantrums,
crying jags, or so-called heart attacks. These people are dictators who try to enslave you
and make you do their bidding. Be firm but kind, and refuse to yield. Appeasement never
wins. Refuse to contribute to their delinquency, selfishness, and possessiveness.
Remember, do that which is right. You are here to fulfill your ideal and remain true to the
eternal verities and spiritual values of life, which are eternal. Give no one in all the world
the power to deflect you from your goal, your aim in life, which is to express your hidden
talents to the world, to serve humanity, and to reveal more and more of God’s wisdom,
truth, and beauty to all people in the world. Remain true to your ideal. Know definitely and
absolutely that whatever contributes to your peace, happiness, and fulfillment must of necessity
bless all men who walk the earth. The harmony of the part is the harmony of the whole, for
the whole is in the part, and the part is in the whole. All you owe the other, as Paul says, is love,
and love is the fulfilling of the law of health, happiness, and peace of mind.
Profitable pointers in human relations (Self Hypnosis to Improve Human Relations)
1. Your subconscious mind is a recording machine, which reproduces your habitual
thinking. Think good of the other, and you are actually thinking good about yourself.
2. A hateful or resentful thought is a mental poison. Do not think ill of another for to do
so is to think ill of yourself. You are the only thinker in your universe, and your thoughts
3. Your mind is a creative medium; therefore, what you think and feel about the other,
you are bringing to pass in your own experience. This is the psychological meaning of the
Golden Rule. As you would that man should think about you, think you about them in the
4. To cheat, rob, or defraud another brings lack, loss, and limitation to yourself. Your
subconscious mind records your inner motivations, thoughts, and feelings. These being of
a negative nature; loss, limitation, and trouble come to you in countless ways. Actually,
what you do to the other, you are doing to yourself.
5. The good you do, the kindness proffered, the love and good will you send forth, will
all come back to you multiplied in many ways.
6. You are the only thinker in your world. You are responsible for the way you think
about the other. Remember, the other person is not responsible for the way you think
about him. Your thoughts are reproduced. What are you thinking now about the other
7. Become emotionally mature and permit other people to differ from you. They have a
perfect right to disagree with you, and you have the same freedom to disagree with them.
You can disagree without being disagreeable.
8. Animals pick up your fear vibrations and snap at you. If you love animals, they will
never attack you. Many undisciplined human beings are just as sensitive as dogs, cats,
and other animals.
9. Your inner speech, representing your silent thoughts and feelings, is experienced in the
reactions of others toward you.
10. Wish for the other what you wish for yourself. This is the key to harmonious human
11. Change your concept and estimate of your employer. Feel and know he is practicing
the Golden Rule and the Law of Love, and he will respond accordingly.
12. The other person cannot annoy you or irritate you except you permit him. Your
thought is creative; you can bless him. If someone calls you a skunk, you have the
freedom to say to the other, “God’s peace fills your soul.”
14. Love is the answer to getting along with others. Love is understanding, good will, and
respecting the divinity of the other.
15. You would not hate a hunchback or cripple. You would have compassion.
Have compassion and understanding for mental hunchbacks who have been conditioned
negatively. To understand all is to forgive all.
16. Rejoice in the success, promotion, and good fortune of the other. In doing so, you
attract good fortune to yourself.
17. Never yield to emotional scenes and tantrums of others. Appeasement never wins. Do
not be a doormat. Adhere to that which is right. Stick to your ideal, knowing that the
mental outlook, which gives you peace, happiness, and joy, is right, good, and true. What
blesses you, blesses all.
18. All you owe any person in the world is love, and love is wishing for everyone what
you wish for yourself—health, happiness, and all the blessings of life.
Next Chapter >>> (Forgiveness)